Archive for ‘little letters’

September 2, 2010

little letters

dear amazing rental house:  i wanted you from the second i opened your front door.  i hope you want me too.  i promise i would be really really nice to you.  please let me know soon if we can live there.

dear tina fey:  thanks for making me feel better about my skinny lips.  you are the coolest (date night was hilarious)!

dear soccer: OH HOW I HAVE MISSED YOU!  tonight was a blast, but holy cow i am out of shape.  i promise to do better next week.

dear german girl who lives in our building:  please forgive me.  when i told you your hair was so pretty it looked like a wig, i had no clue that it really WAS a wig.  i still think you’re really cute and nice.

dear layne:  since you know what it feels like now, maybe next time you’re about to puke you could give me some type of tiny warning.  i’m so sorry that you didn’t feel good today.

dear playground:  i’m so sorry i let my daughter puke all over you.  three times.  she gave me no indication that she wasn’t feeling well.  and i’m also sorry that i just basically ran to my car and didn’t rinse you off or anything.  maybe next time i see you you could tell me what terrible things the other moms said about me after i left.

July 5, 2010

little letters

dear laptop, i love you more every day.  seroiusly, where have you been all my life?  i can’t believe i have spent so much of my adult/professional life without you.  the only thing i can imagine that would make me love you more was if you were green or maybe if you could magically pay for things i want to buy online.  your proud owner, katie

dear harper, you are developing quite a personality.  you are hilarious.  you make me smile and laugh even when you are doing something dishonest (tonight you called me into your dark room claiming you couldn’t find your kitty.  i had just given him to you about 7 minutes before.  i reached behind your pillow and there he was).  please stop growing so fast.  i want you to stay little for longer!  love you forever, mommy

dear Lord, thank you for surrounding us with such great family and friends.  we are blessed beyond measure.  amen.

dear owner of Express Fitness, how in the world can you possibly be the owner of a gym and yet you reek of cigarette smoke?  no different in my mind that if you weighed 350 pounds.  your annoyed patron, me

June 15, 2010

little letters

dear dad, thank you SO much for letting me mow the yard.  i loved it.  i love the loud white noise and mindless riding around…great time to think and not think.

dear insects, i like you.  i know sometimes you get a bad rap and sometimes i squish you, but tonight i like you:  crickets and cicadas, you should get paid.  i was so glad i didn’t use my iPod during my run tonight.  you sounded so loud and beautiful.  spiders, i know that you’d like to get straight to work on repairing your webs when the sun goes down, but do you really have to swing all the way across the road?  i do not enjoy being smashed smeared in the face with a stricky string.  lightning bugs, i love you.  you are a complete treat.

dear potato skins,  i cannot promise you i’ll never throw you away again, but i will try really really hard not to.  i know that in the past when i’ve made potato soup i have just scooped out your insides and thrown you in the trashcan.  tonight you made me seriously regret that when i covered you with cheese and bacon, baked you and slathered you with sour cream.  surely i will remember your deliciousness.

June 1, 2010

little letters

seen this on a few other blogs. copying them and making it a new category.  good for when i don’t have much to say but i’m dying to post something.

introducing “little letters”…

dear matiland, thank you SO much for sleeping for a whopping FOUR hours straight during one of your “naps” last night.  you have no idea what a difference there is between 3 and 4 hours.  i felt refreshed.  seriously.  you’re 5 weeks old and already making me proud.  feel free to try for a longer stretch whenever you feel comfortable.  love, mommy  (ps. no pressure, but just so you know, everything i’ve read about newborns says that you’re supposed to be sleeping 6-8 hours straight by the time you’re 6 weeks old.  that’s next monday.  no pressure.)

dear sals, your pizza is delicious.  the fact that it is only $7 makes it absolutely irresistable.  you made my day. many thanks, a loyal cusomer.

dear snotty girl in the elevator, why do you not even try to make your dog/rat be nice to my kids?  they have perfect doggy manners and your dog is just as snotty as you are.  maybe next time i see you i will find out your name…then you’ll feel guilty every time your dog tries to bite one of my kids.  see you around.

dear van,  i am so sorry i spent all those years insulting you behind your back.  you are one of my best friends.  let’s do life together for a long long time.  your faithful, katie