little letters

dear amazing rental house:  i wanted you from the second i opened your front door.  i hope you want me too.  i promise i would be really really nice to you.  please let me know soon if we can live there.

dear tina fey:  thanks for making me feel better about my skinny lips.  you are the coolest (date night was hilarious)!

dear soccer: OH HOW I HAVE MISSED YOU!  tonight was a blast, but holy cow i am out of shape.  i promise to do better next week.

dear german girl who lives in our building:  please forgive me.  when i told you your hair was so pretty it looked like a wig, i had no clue that it really WAS a wig.  i still think you’re really cute and nice.

dear layne:  since you know what it feels like now, maybe next time you’re about to puke you could give me some type of tiny warning.  i’m so sorry that you didn’t feel good today.

dear playground:  i’m so sorry i let my daughter puke all over you.  three times.  she gave me no indication that she wasn’t feeling well.  and i’m also sorry that i just basically ran to my car and didn’t rinse you off or anything.  maybe next time i see you you could tell me what terrible things the other moms said about me after i left.


7 Comments to “little letters”

  1. I just laughed out loud at work, reading this!
    1. Where is the house?
    2. And really you said it looks like a wig?

  2. this post was amazing.

  3. congrats on the house and to sum up the rest- I’m sorry. LOL. I could not possibly imagine- scratch that- I don’t want to imagine how I will handle the park and puke accident. I will flee to my car too- but probably without my kid. ROFL. So, maybe the other mommies were like me, and admired you for allowing a vomit spewing child in your vehicle. LOL

  4. hilarious! I am crossing my fingers for you about the rental!!

  5. Definitely peed a little reading this one…HILARIOUS!!!

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