Archive for June, 2010

June 30, 2010

pardon our dust

just wanted to share some things i’m struggling with right now:

  • my post-baby body:  i don’t really know why i’m struggling with this so much because i’ve had 2 other babies and i’ve gotten back into my size 6’s both times.  it’s just hard to remember how long it took.  the motto is supposedly “9 months on, 9 months off”, but when i stare longily at the stacks of “skinny” clothes in the top of my closet, it’s hard to keep that in mind.  i started back at the gym this past monday (cue some loud praise music).  feels good to be sweating again, but i feel like i need a sports corset to go with my sports bra.  can’t wait to lose this spare tire.  not only does it feel disgusting when i run (i feel like a laughing santa…you know, “bowl full of jelly”), but i hate how it looks.  i saw a gal in the gym today with a t-shirt on that said “body under construction”.  i was laughing to myself thinking, i need that shirt in every color.  you know how businesses or stores put up signs when things are under construction like “pardon our dust”?  well, that’s what i’d like to wear around my neck.  like “i know i look like i don’t give a crap about my body, but i had my 3rd baby 2 months ago and am in the process of trying to shed the spare tire.  check me out again in 6 months”.
  • my role as a domestic engineer:  i don’t know why it’s so hard for me to accept, but i’ve just been so disheartened lately by the drone of my days as the caretaker of my home.  i love my kids dearly.  i feel so blessed to be able to afford to stay home with them.  however, most of the time i HATE keeping house.  i can’t stand the fact that when i sweep the floor tonight, it will have crumbs on it by breakfast-time tomorrow morning.  i don’t ever see the point of cleaning the bathroom until it gets just gross.  it’s amazing to me that i’ve been a wife for almost 8 years, a mother for 4, and i still struggle with the fact that i should be doing these things on a daily basis.  the only “cleaning” i do habitually is making my bed every day, and that doesn’t really even count.  i only started doing that like a year ago.  guess i just need to keep adding little things as habit every day and eventually the house will be cleaned because i can’t handle it NOT being that way (that’s how i am about the bed now…drives me nuts if it’s not done).  my mom used to have a plaque hanging in the kitchen that said “keeping house is like stringing beads with no knot on the end”.  oh so true.  don’t know why it’s oh so hard for me to accept that it’s just part of life…if we want to live in a clean house, we have to clean it.  duh.  can’t wait until my kids are old enough to clean up more than they mess up.
  • lack of motivation/discipline:  basically this just means that i’m having a hard time with myself in the arena of getting things crossed off my to-do list.  when i planned to take some time off from my business after the baby, i assumed it would free up some of my time.  not sure what’s sucking all that time up (maitland still sleeps ALOT), but there are several things that i need to do that have been on my list literally since the week after maitland was born.  i’m considering not watching tv for a month, to see how much more i can get done without distraction.  i’d like to think i’m not addicted to tv, but i do watch alot.  i need to prove to myself that it is possible to fold laundry without watching HGTV or that just because ryan is watching something it doesn’t mean that i’m chained to the couch next to him.  i’m very distractable, so i feel like i’d be much more focused on the task at hand if the tv wasn’t on.  i’ll let you know how it goes. 
  • guilt vs. grace:  hard to put into words, but i find myself in a constant inner-battle of sorts. guilt vs. grace.  like, do i feel guilty for sleeping in until 7:30 or give myself a break because i was up twice with the baby?  should i feel like a bad mom because the kids were in their p.j.’s until lunchtime or just be happy that i got a few things done because we hung out at home all morning?  this feelings affect my decision-making maybe more than they should.  there are ways i can comprimise, like i can mop the kitchen floor with maitland in the baby bjorn instead of just sitting on the couch holding him, annoyed that nothing is getting done.  i know that the Lord doesn’t want us living with guilt, but i can never decide if something i’ve done was a wrong decision, laziness, selfishness, or just part of life.

let me say this:  i’m sitting at the kitchen table typing while ryan is 10 feet away watching “locked up abroad”.  i’m very distracted, trying to type and listen to this guy tell his story of being in a turkish prison.  if this post doesn’t make sense for some reason, that’s why.  my point exactly.  ugh.

June 29, 2010

super annoyed that my dvr isn’t recording SYTYCD

  • something i accomplished today:  very successful, drama-free trip to Target with all 3 kiddos 
  • something i screwed up today:  i’ve been very prideful lately, in my head.  i don’t like it.
  • something fun i did with the kids:  play-doh
  • something funny or cute one of my kids did or said:  pretty much everything that comes out of layne’s mouth these days is cute.  planning a post on her sometime in the next few weeks.
  • something yummy i ate today:  luigi’s italian ice (about 20 minutes ago) 
  • something i read today:  hasn’t happened yet, but i need to read a few chapters in my new book (the power of a positive mom) for a new Bible study at church
  • a tv show or movie i watched today:  Wipeout was hilarious.  
  • something i did today that i hardly ever do:  cleaned the wood floor
  • something i did today that i do every day:  fed and clothed the children
  • something i am thankful for right now:  at this instant, i’m thankful for laughing with my husband on the couch (last comic standing).  feeling tired and blessed.
  • June 28, 2010

    a little too comfortable

    this morning i had planned for us to be out the door by 9:00.  had a few errands to run and then i wanted to take the girls to the indoor playground at the wellington mall (about a half hour away).  maitland was pretty fussy, and harper was SLOW getting ready, so i was thrilled when we were out the door at 9:24.  however, i was not so thrilled when we got downstairs, two steps onto the sidewalk when i looked down and saw that i was still wearing my slippers.


    the saddest part is that i am so lazy/sick of the elevator process that for 2 seconds i considered leaving them on and hoping no one would notice.

    June 23, 2010

    i’m no expert, but…

    wrote this post awhile ago…we’re at the condo with ryan’s family so i figured tonight’s a good time to post it…

    this is a list of some things that i think all mothers of new babies should have or use or do.  strictly my own opinions, of course…everyone’s experience and view of their job is different.

    • get some good swaddling blankets or some of these…if you don’t settle, you won’t have to re-wrap your kid 4 times when they wiggle thier hands out of the burrito.  this time around, i had a friend give me some gtreat big muslin “blankets”…they’ve been so awesome that i ordered 2 more from target.  (ps: swaddling is KEY in calming your newborn if you can’t figure out why they’re crying…it’s also a clutch move in getting them to sleep as long as possible – which is usually not longer than 3 hours.)
    • get some type of baby carrier…whether it be a sling, a bjorn, or whatever.  babies love to be “worn” and it allows you to tend to the baby and still have two free hands.
    • cut baby wipes in half.  newborn’s bottoms aren’t big enough to need a regular-sized wipe and cutting them obviously makes a batch last twice as long.  if there is a large poop, you can always use two.
    • get one of these (carseat stroller frame).
    • get a swing or a vibrating bouncy seat or both.  your baby will thank you for it.  actually, YOU will thank you for it.
    • my favorite baby books: Baby 411 and Happiest Baby on the Block
    • if you are nursing, make sure you’re very aware of foods that you should avoid.  babies that are gassy are no fun…there are many foods that mommy eats that can make them that way: broccolli in any capacity, cabbage (i made the mistake of eating some eggrolls last week and maitland paid dearly for it), excessive raw veggies, etc.
    • if baby does get gassy, there are lots of anti-gas remedies on the market.  we’ve used milicon and i think it works pretty well.
    • i LOVE Lilypads.  they are sticky silicone circles that you stick to your breast.  they put pressure on the nipple to alleviate leakage, and if you do leak, it stays put.  [unfortunately, these don’t work for mommies with a large milk supply…or so i’ve been told.]  they are like $20 per set, but will last you a month or two…i think they’re totally worth it because every other breast pad i’ve ever tried could be seen through my shirt (the lumps).
    • don’t set high goals for the first 3 months as far as life outside of your baby.  there will be days when you feel like literally all you did all day was nurse, burp, and change diapers.  the baby days pass SO quickly, so just soak it up while you can.  i am really making sure i remind myself of this while maitland is tiny…i have a totally different perspective this time, being pretty confident that he is our last baby.  i don’t beat myself up if my kids watch an hour of tv or if the laundry’s not done or if my legs are hairy.  i have really been trying to remind myself that all that is required is my best for the day.
    • lastly, i’m looking in the mirror when i say this, but don’t be afraid to ask for help or to ask other people what worked for them.  my one regret for when harper was a baby was that i was a little cocky and tried to tell myself that i didn’t need help.  i think i did a fine job on my own, but i could have saved myself some frustrations by simply asking other moms what worked for them.
    June 22, 2010

    we’re leaving tomorrow morning to head up to a condo in new smyrna beach with ryan’s family.  i’m super excited, but have lots to do before we go, so here’s just a few little quickies before i get up to face the mess at my dining table (let’s just say layne thought lunch today was new year’s eve and her macaroni was the confetti):

    • we watched The Book of Eli on sunday night.  i loved it.  it exceeded my expectations, and i don’t really feel like very many movies do that anymore.  i don’t want to say too much in case one of my 4 readers is going to watch it, but speaking as a christian, i can say that i was pleasantly surprised.
    •  layne is asleep in my bed right now.  i am shocked.  the pack ‘n play that she normally naps in is folded up and already packed in my car for our trip, so i had no choice but to put her on my bed (harper is having her quiet/rest time in the girls’ room, so layne couldn’t nap there).  i am SO proud of her because she didn’t try to get out of bed even once.  i think a big-girl bed is close on the horizon…most likely some kind of bunk beds…  when maitland starts sleeping through the night, we may end up just putting all 3 kids in there together…something i said i’d never do.  we’ll see.
    • going to pick-up soccer tonight.  i am so so excited!  i’m obviously super out of shape, and most likely won’t be able to walk tomorrow, but nonetheless i can’t wait to get back out there and kick the ball around a little bit.  the kids and i went to ryan’s game last night (which went surprisingly well) and it got me so stoked to play again.
    • my friend holly talked about me in her blog the other day.  i was so flattered.  we haven’t seen each other in forever…she’s a few years younger than me, but we ran track and did cheerleading together in high school.  like many other people i’ve been delighted to reconnect with, i got back in touch with her via Facebook.  she has an incredibly successful shop on etsy and her art is also now being produced by Demdaco (the big company that makes the Willow Tree figurines and other cool stuff that you can find like at Hallmark or christian book stores).  she’s cool and beautiful enough to wear her hair super short and i love that about her…not many girls have the guts.  holly, i love that we are in touch and i love watching your creativity and ideas and business grow!
    June 20, 2010

    daddy dearest

    i’m not a huge advocate for mother’s day or father’s day or valentine’s day or any other holiday where i feel obligated by our culture to express myself.  yes, i care about my mother(s) and father and my valentine very VERY much, but i don’t need a special day to tell them so.  that being said, i would still like to give my dad a little something today.  i didn’t get anything in the mail on time, so here goes:  here are some random things i love/appreciate about him….

    1. he has super cool handwriting and an awesome signature (i always used to try to copy it in high school and i could never do it).

    2. he has a green thumb and a pretty extensive knowledge of plants.

    3. he was in the circus in college…did a little of everything.

    4. one time when we were kids he let us play with dry ice in the pool.

    5. he is a fantastic grandpa (“poppy”).

    6. he likes to eat things over the sink.

    7. speaking of eating, he has some wierd food habits that i think are cool: he loves cold fried chicken, sardines, and will bite into a vidalia onion like it’s an apple.

    8. he is kinda artsy and not alot of people know it. 

    9. he knows alot about dogs and horses.

    10. he is the most patriotic person i know…absolutely passionate about his country and government.

    11. he likes old movies…john waye and clash of the titans and such.

    12. he’s very handy.

    13. we went on some incredible vacations when i was younger, thanks to him (and his thousands of frequent flier miles).

    14. he made us a tire swing in the front yard when we were kids.  now there’s one in the backyard for his grandkids.

    15. his mom lives in an assisted living home and he visits her all the time.

    16. he is adventurous.  (about 5 years ago we made an audition tape for the amazing race.)

    17. he has a great sense of humor.

    18. he taught me to love oldies and country music.

    19. he makes a great effort to get to know my husband.

    20. he is a good cook…few tricks up his sleeve.

    love you dad!!  hope you’re my dad for a long long time!  xoxo

    June 18, 2010

    it’s a good thing…

    i don’t have Facebook on my phone.  for many reasons… 

    even though i can’t post a new status whenever i feel like it, sometimes i THINK in status form…anyone else do this?

    here are some of the status updates i would’ve posted today:

    • 7:41 AM  “maitland’s my hero!  six hours straight last night!!”
    • 8:57 AM  “i hate unpacking almost as much as i hate packing.”
    • 9:05 AM  “making a dr’s appointment for harper…she hasn’t pooped in 8 days.  sadly typical.”
    • 10:12 AM  “just had the pleasure of administering a suppository.”
    • 11:42 AM  “i love it when i pull together a great lunch for the girls out of a fridge that i thought had ‘nothing’ in it.”
    • 12:18 PM  “harper just pooped out a friggin redwood tree.  don’t who is happier: her or me.”
    • 1:34 PM  “all 3 kids asleep at the same time.”
    • ONLY REAL FB STATUS OF THE DAY>  1:46 PM  “huge Pepper float.”
    • 5:00 PM  “ryan’s in ft. lauderdale…we’re at chick-fil-a for dinner with Kathleen.”
    • 6:27 PM  “at the park with Kathleen…loving some grown-up/girlfriend conversation”
    • 6:42 PM  “harper just POOPED HER PANTS!  we’re outta here (and she’s gonna sit in it all the way home).”
    • 7:18 PM  “girls bathed and in bed.  NOT asleep, just in bed.”
    • 7:36 PM  “layne climbed out of her crib.  again.”
    • 9:22 PM  “laundry and FRIDAY NIGHT LIGHTS!!!”
    June 16, 2010

    flexing my muscles

    i’m trying to get back into shape physically and have decided that i also need to start flexing my photography muscles a little bit.  woke up this morning and decided to do sort-of a “day in the life” kind of thing.  last day in tallahassee…here goes:

    woke up around 8:30…4 used diapers next to the clock (the number of diapers in the pile always indicates how many times i’d been up the night before with my Little Buddy).  me in my p.j.’s…honestly bothers me alot that they don’t match.

    my Little Buddy watching the ceiling fan…he’s about to outgrow that binky.  i’ll miss it.

    staying at nana’s means dessert after breakfast…always popsicles on the front porch.

    if you hadn’t figured it out already (red mouths, yellow popsicles), this morning they each had 2!

    i noticed this week how TALL all the trees have gotten.  love this sweetgum.

    this house holds many many memories for me.  besides the 400 pictures of me, here’s one other piece of evidence that i grew up here:  a height chart on my former-bedroom door.  if my parents’ ever move, they’d better take our doors with them.  i need to get something like this going for my kids before they’re as tall as we are. 

    [did you notice that in 1988 i grew 2 inches and gained TEN pounds?!]

    this afternoon mom and i took the kids to this place.  zoinks.  it’s a huge room filled with inflateables (slides, obstacle courses, etc) and arcade games.  unbeknownst to us, wednesdays are free afternoon days.  it was total chaos.  i am not a paranoid mom, and i was…well…paranoid.  the place was absolutely packed and it was driving me crazy that at no time did i have all 3 of my kids in my view at once, much less my kids AND my niece and nephew.  mom and i kept looking at each other like, “is this for real?”  i set maitland’s carseat up against one of the toddler inflateables and it was bouncing him around enough that he fell asleep.  this tempted me to just leave him there and walk around with the other two kids, but i kept thinking, “it’s chaos in here.  someone could pick him up and walk out with him and i would never know it.” 

    my one consolation was that i’d fed maitland right before we left the house, so i didn’t have to walk around like this poor woman was (however, i should point out that that is about the most modest job of breastfeeding i have ever seen…without someone using a cover):

    when we got home it had just been pouring rain.  the kids played in the driveway with the umbrella and jumped in the puddles and rode thier scooters through the water while they waited for thier dinner.  i took alot of fun pictures, but i’m tired, so i’m only posting this one.

    my grandma was here for dinner tonight.  she lives in an assisted-living facility here and my dad goes and picks her up all the time.  she is 94 and is sometimes annoyed by loud kids and noise, but tonight she seemed not to mind at all when her great-grandson was a little fussy.  as long as i can remember she has had painted fingernails and lots of jewelry.

    headed home tomorrow.  stopping at my sister’s for lunch, so hopefully the drive won’t be bad.

    June 15, 2010

    little letters

    dear dad, thank you SO much for letting me mow the yard.  i loved it.  i love the loud white noise and mindless riding around…great time to think and not think.

    dear insects, i like you.  i know sometimes you get a bad rap and sometimes i squish you, but tonight i like you:  crickets and cicadas, you should get paid.  i was so glad i didn’t use my iPod during my run tonight.  you sounded so loud and beautiful.  spiders, i know that you’d like to get straight to work on repairing your webs when the sun goes down, but do you really have to swing all the way across the road?  i do not enjoy being smashed smeared in the face with a stricky string.  lightning bugs, i love you.  you are a complete treat.

    dear potato skins,  i cannot promise you i’ll never throw you away again, but i will try really really hard not to.  i know that in the past when i’ve made potato soup i have just scooped out your insides and thrown you in the trashcan.  tonight you made me seriously regret that when i covered you with cheese and bacon, baked you and slathered you with sour cream.  surely i will remember your deliciousness.

    June 14, 2010

    how is it almost 11 PM?

    i need to get to bed, but i just wanted to write about some things making me happy lately.

    the kids and i have been in tallahassee since friday evening.  good times.  my sister’s kids are here too, so they’re all having a grand time.  i love it here.  even regular things i do at home aren’t so regular here…laundry, making potato soup, even watching tv.  i feel i have more freedom…i guess everybody feels that way on vacation, but here it’s even better because this vacation comes with built-in FREE babysitters.  ha.  the first night we were here, maitland slept for FIVE hours straight.  a first.  i was delighted to say the least.  guess he loves it here too.

    there is a goodwill here that i love to shop at.  i always find good clothes there.  today’s trip was extra fun.  monday is 50% off on all clothes.  nice.  i was trying on a pair of shorts and i put my hands in the pockets and pulled out a $20 bill!!  i was jazzed to say the least…especially when my total at the register was $22.

    mom took the three older kids to the city pool around noon.  i put layne down for a nap and then spent 2 hours in the recliner with maitland.  i’d never do that if we were home.  i’d be rushing around trying to mop the floor or something with him in the bjorn.  so fun to channel surf and just soak up my sleeping son.

    someone came to look at the condo today.  the kids and i weren’t there.  that made me happy (trying to keep the house clean longer than 10 minutes is challenge).  keep coming, potential buyers!  we’ll be gone for 3 more days…

    okay so now it’s not almost 11 PM, it’s twelve minutes after.  i’ve got to get to bed.  my alarm will be going off in a few hours (i.e. baby will want to eat).