calm before the perfect storm.

i’m back.

it’s 6:50 AM on Sunday, April 25th.  i’m scheduled to deliver our third child, a boy, via c-section tomorrow afternoon around 1:00.  we’re pretty sure this is our last kid.  so, there is a very good chance that today is my last day to ever be pregnant.  don’t know if it’s the hormones or just simple reflection, but i’ve found myself doing alot of thinking lately…been very sentimental.

the reason i titled this blog “blessed” is simple:  because i am.  very.  this pregnancy has been no exception (all praise and thanks be to God for that).  yeah, i’m tired.  yeah, i’m uncomfortable.  but i’ve gone 10 months without throwing up, without high blood pressure or diabetees, and honestly, without getting fat (i don’t particularly enjoy looking at myself naked right now…35 pounds heavier, but i can’t complain).  i have so many friends who have rough pregnancies, or who aren’t able to get pregnant at all.  like so many other things in my life, it happened easily for me, but i don’t (and hopefully never will) take it for granted.  actually, with this pregnancy, it happened even sooner than we might’ve liked…i’d say that’s a nice problem to have.  all of that being said, certainly the biggest blessing of this and any full-term pregnancy is just that – that the baby has been carried to full-term and is (as anyone can tell so far) totally healthy and growing just as he should.  incredible in itself when you consider all the thousands of things that can (and do, many times) go wrong.

even without comparing my life or my body or my situation to other people, the blessings of pregnancy are extremely obvious.  the idea of another person exploding out of microscopic cells, taking root inside my body, and growing rapidly for 10 months still absolutely blows my mind.  the fact that it is a person that is half me, half my best friend makes it even more amazing.  the biggest blessing to me during pregnancy, though, is just plain quickening – feeling the baby move.  it never gets old.  i’m sure ryan’s been annoyed many times because i’ll lay on the couch and grab his hand and hold it on my belly…just want him to feel what i feel…how big and strong this little person is getting.  the idea of me, the mother, being able to feel the baby move for so many months was a smart one that God came up with.  it’s a very special, bonding experience…very personal.

i’m not at all looking forward to having a c-section, but that’s the hand i’ve been dealt so i’m trying to look at the positive.  just focusing on that moment when i’m staring at that blue sheet and i hear that little voice…mad at everyone in the room for violently pulling him out of…well, wherever that was that was all he’d ever known.  can’t wait to hear and see and touch him. 

i am thankful for all the examples of tragedy that i’ve heard about, read about, or witnessed.  they have taught me that life does literally hang by a thread.  babies die every day…in the womb, in the hospital the day they’re born, and sometimes months after they’re born when they’re wrapped in a sweet little blanket.  they’ve taught me never to take one second of my children for granted…every day is truly a gift.  i really hope i’m not just saying that…that i’ve learned that, i mean.  still, if the rest of my life is any indication, i am confident that the Lord would bless me even through tragedy.  i pray that if i was ever put through one of the situations that i’ve heard/read about with tears streaming down my face, that i could look ahead to what the Lord would teach me…that i would focus only on the many blessings i’ve experienced.

harper is up and asking for her juice.  i’m glad to get it for her while i can still stand up and walk across the room without needed a pain pill.  ryan got me a new laptop this week (!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!), so hopefully i’ll be able to be a pretty regular blogger again.  i’ve dedicated the next few months SOLELY to being Mommy and wife…hoping to maintain my sanity and not get too overwhelmed or distracted.  i’d like to try and document that maintenance on this blog.  we’ll see.

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6 Comments to “calm before the perfect storm.”

  1. Katie, You said it so well! I’m so excited for you! Boys are wonderful!
    All my love! -court

  2. I love you! Can’t wait to meet that sweet boy! See you soon! 🙂

  3. Great blog Katie! Feeling the baby move was my favorite part of being pregnant too! It’s just so amazing! Hope all goes well tomorrow-excited for your little boy to meet his family!

  4. Read this (after reading your awesome blog post) and thought of you:

    ‘When her children ask her
    how she did it ALL
    She will tell them, she didn’t
    she learned to listen to her smiles
    and let the rest get a little messy
    especially on Sundays’
    -J.Beamer

    Good luck tomorrow!!

  5. thankful to read your blog knowing that you are truly appreciative to the blessings you have and that we all have. best of luck tomorrow, i will be thinking of you and your family. so exciting for you to have a boy! thanks for sharing your thoughts with us readers.

  6. loved it! You put the experience and blessing of being a mom into perfect words! Love ya and can’t wait to meet Maitland!

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