never a dull moment

  • yesterday after church we went to Jersey Mikes subs for lunch (if you’ve never eaten there, go.  as soon as they open tomorrow.  go.).  when we got there, harper had on no panties because of an emergency stop we’d just made on the side of the road after which i’d neglected to put her panties back on (she was wearing a dress so i ripped them off before i held up in the squat position to pee).  when we got into the store, i was hoping that harper could keep A) a low profile and B) keep her dress pulled down until we got into the bathroom.  ryan got in line and i stopped for a second with him to check out the kids’ menu (harper’s not too hot on lunch meat, so i wasn’t sure what to get her at a sub place).  harper ran over the the shelves where they keep the chips and started very loudly asking ryan what kind of chips he was going to get (low profile blown).  he was on him own to decide what to get her.  off we went to the bathroom (as she is yelling “i don’t need my panties back on!!”).  layne had a really full diaper, so i decided to deal with her first.  there was no changing thing-a-majiggy.  so, i sucked it up and threw the diaper bag on the floor and laid her on it.  she’s gotten really squirmy lately, so it usually takes longer than it should to change a pee diaper.  as i was changing her, i heard the water running and foolishly thought, “how nice, harper’s washing her hands before she eats without  me asking her too.”  pshaw.  i finally looked up and realized she had filled the sink almost to overflowing and was splashing vigorously in it.  i gave her devil eyes then somehow managed to get her panties back on with one hand and both of us remaining on our feet.
  • i finally got to enjoy my sandwich.  layne was sitting next to me and i was taking turns feeding her and stuffing my face with the amazingly delicious Italian on white with freshly sliced meat and cheese and perfect toppings.  as she was eating, layne kept grabbing the paper my sandwich was on a pulling on it.  it was getting close to naptime…the closer it is, the friskier she gets.  i popped her hand once really good and thought she had the idea (that she needed to keep away from mommy’s sandwich paper).  i got too comfortable.  about 2 minutes later, she reached over, yanked the paper as hard as she could and my beautiful, less-than-half-eaten sandwich fell to the floor to the tune of my groaning, “NOOOOOO!”  i am not one to frown off eating things off the floor, but this was like peel the mayo-covered tomatoes and shredded lettuce off the floor gross.  it was ridiculous, but it honestly took me about 10 minutes until i could laugh about it,  i was so mad.  🙂 
  • we started VBS at church today.  harper was very excited because it’s the most “schoolish” thing she’s ever participated in.  she LOVED it and i could tell that she really had a handle on some of the things they talked about.  when we got home, she seemed exhausted, but decided (very unfortunately) that she didn’t need a nap.  before i gave up on her getting one, i had to give her two spankings.  when i brought her in my room for the second time explaining why she was getting the spanking (because she’d woken layne up by singing very loudly), this is the conversation we had: 

harper: “mommy, God loves me.”

me: “you’re right honey, God loves you very much.” (my heart overflowing with pride and happiness)

harper: “mommy, God loves me sooo much that He doesn’t want me to get a spanking.”

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4 Comments to “never a dull moment”

  1. LOVE this entire post. Love it. Miss you guys!

  2. I can’t wait to live stories like these on Chanda Family Weekend : )

  3. this = hilarious 🙂

  4. God loves us all … even the mean ole mom who gives her sweet little girls spankings when they disobey.

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