choose your own adventure

Cave of time.jpglast night i got invited to be a judge at PBA’s cheerleading tryouts.  i didn’t cheer in college, but i did cheer in highschool and i have about 4 years’ experience in coaching.  i enjoyed being at the tryout and it was fun to critique people like that, but it got me to thinking.  the whole time i felt weird.  there was some emotion welling up in me the whole time i was there and i couldn’t put my finger on it until i was driving home.  during the interview portion of the tryout, several of the girls mentioned that they were overwhelmed with “the whole college thing” (they started class last week) and felt a little stressed.  it was obvious that alot of them were fresh out of high school and away from home for the first time.  on the drive home, i realized that the emotion i’d been feeling was jealousy.  not because i don’t enjoy my life now, but because (as i explained to ryan later) that first week of college was easily one of the best weeks of my life.  i started PBA not knowing ANYONE and i hadn’t experienced that since the 3rd grade.  it was such a cool feeling to have that fresh of a start and to know that i had the power to choose who i could be to all these new friends.

after getting hooked on running during my last two years of high school, i decided to run cross-country at PBA.  while watching those girls last night and mentally scoring where i would’ve been and if i would’ve made the squad had i tried out, i started thinking about how my life would’ve been different had i been a cheerleader.  maybe i still would’ve had the same friends and maybe i would’ve still dated ryan, but who knows.  last night lying in bed i started thinking about all the decisions throughout my life that seemed small at the time, but, had i chosen differently, my whole life would’ve changed.  i am pretty artistic and always have been, but for some reason, i never took one art class in high school.  looking back, i’m pretty sure it was because A) none of my friends took art and B) it was in the elementary building and i was too lazy to walk down there every day (sounds pathetic, but it’s true).  if i had taken just one art class, i am certain that i would’ve been hooked and that would’ve been my major in college and i would’ve had a career in some artsy area.

here’s the thing, though.  i’m doing artsy stuff now.  i’m doing photography and graphic design and getting paid for it.  knowing that i would end up here anyway, i don’t think i would trade my 5 years of teaching random PE and art classes for an important higher-paying artsy career.  it’s funny how sometimes there is no stopping God’s will for us…even if we don’t take the so-called “proper” steps on getting to where He wants us to be.

when i was about 10, there was a series of books out called “choose your own adventure”. the books were set up in a way that, when you got to the end of a certain chapter or section, the author would give you three choices of what you wanted the characters to do.  you chose whatever you wanted the character to do and then turned to the page you were instructed.  you could read the books many times over and it could be a different story every time.  i love my life now and am certain that i’m where the Lord wants me, but sometimes it’s fun to think about what might’ve been had i chosen differently.


3 Comments to “choose your own adventure”

  1. good post kate (even if i can’t stand pba cheerleaders)… stuff like that really makes you think!!! i know that alot of what you are talking about is what i am dealing with right now, school wise.

  2. I’m so glad you didn’t try out for cheerleading… 🙂

  3. This is good stuff and your so right. I find myself thinking the same type of things–thanks for putting into words for me.

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